Our first featured work!

Desire by Evan Hoffman

Not desire,

Not you who drags at torn up cloths,

Not you who talks with infidelity.

Why pretend to be a rose,

Your thorns are finely honed,

Waiting to tear into fresh regimented flesh.

You come and wave at passersby,

But when they raise a hand,

You disappear in a cloud of sooty smoke,

You choke them in a firestorm of hate and ash and melting glass.

You try to help with overpowered lust,

Yet you only further hope that still remains,

Now locked up in a disbanded broken vault.

You have a craving for desiccating all of love and jives.

Though some still come to find you lurking in their dreams,

Some still want you to become that of stolen lies.

You play along with imprudent games,

You slash and tatter at human veins,

But one day we will realize,

You are that of thought,

Not that to be seized and sized.

Congratulations Evan Hoffman! You can follow Evan Hoffman on Twitter.

Illustrate your story - don't just say what's happening!

It is the author's job to make sure the audience knows what is happening. In order to do that, an author must always relate to the 5 senses when they are writing: Sight, Smell, Sound, Touch, and Taste.

I can't tell you the amounts of stories I've read that lacked the use of these five senses. You have to keep in mind that the readers aren't in your head; they cannot see what you see. If all you have is the actions and dialogue, your story is more suitable for a script! Describing your scenes in a vivid, imaginative, illustrative way will allow your readers to enter the world of your story, and be captivated by what is happening.

If you're not sure whether or not you have these illustrative skills, try the below exercise:

The Spaghetti Bowl

Take out a piece of paper, or start a new Word document.

Look at the picture below:

Now imagine yourself (or your character) eating the spaghetti.

In the new document or piece of paper, create a scene about you or your character eating the spaghetti. This segment can be in First Person or Third Person, whichever you choose.

Keep in mind:

• Sight: Bright red colors, pale noodles, brown table top, blue plate
• Sound: Squishy sounds of the sauce, clanking plates, slurps from you or person next to you
• Smell: Delicious (explain why), disgusting (explain why), nauseating, enticing
• Taste: Delicious (explain why), disgusting (explain why), bland, bitter
• Touch: Spaghetti feels too hard, too soft, overcooked, fork is too cold, plate is too hot

Remember: you can add anything to the scene. Perhaps you started eating the spaghetti, and you hated it, so when your mom wasn't looking you threw everything in your dog's food bowl. Perhaps it was too hot you burned your esophagus and had to be rushed to the doctor.

Be creative! If you would like some pointers and hints, you can send this exercise to Jayfsxomba@gmail.com (there is an active link on my "Contact Me" page). I will tell you what you're good at and what you need. Good luck everyone!

May your joy in writing lead you to happiness,

Jay

Don't pull a fast one on your readers!

Before we begin with today's tip, I'd just like to say that the works I've received are outstanding; the Blog's first featured work in history will definitely be a hard one to choose! Unfortunately, I'll have to extend the choosing until next week due to the lack of submissions (I want at least 5 or 6. I only got 3 at the moment). For now, keep writing. Get those creative juices flowing!

For today's tip, I'd like to address a problem that is very prominent in amateur works. Hopefully this will shed light on your stories.

When writing a piece of literature, you have to realize that your audience knows absolutely nothing about your story. They are ignorant to your world, your characters, their feelings, and their situations. It is unwise to assume that they are knowledgeable of ANYTHING other than what you tell them.

The mistake that I see in a lot of potential novels is this very factor. I often get lost, having to email the authors back asking "Why did Jane do this?" or "Why does Jane have a red ruby?" or "What?! Jane died? When?". It is these things that ruin the experience for the audience.

You may argue that you wanted some elements to "be a surprise". But I'll let you know that there is a VERY FINE LINE between foreshadowing and mystery, and pulling a fast one.

Let me give you an example. 

In the below scene, the thirteen year old Jane sees a dark man in the doorway, with a bloody knife in hand. 

He smiled that wicked, mischievous smile, like the grin on a boy killing his first wild deer. His body moved toward her, slowly and mockingly, as if each step savored the fear that emanated from her being. 

"Jane," he whispered. His voice penetrated the air around her, causing hairs on the back of her neck to stand on end."I just finished killing your bitch of a mother. Oh you should have seen how she squirmed under my hands. And then your father..."

He paused for a moment, as if trying to get a reaction from her. But Jane was too frightened to move. Displeased with her reluctance he continued. "He thought he could kill me with that pistol, just because he was a policeman. But I carved his chest faster than he could pull that trigger."

Jane felt her knees give in. She was praying that the man she saw wasn't her father, that the mutilated face was of some other helpless policeman. 

Tears trickled down her face. Not of fear, not of sadness. But of anger, of hatred. Her whole family is dead. And it's all because of the man before her.

"You bastard!" she screamed. 

He ran toward her, knife in the air. 

She pulled the trigger.

The man dropped the knife suddenly. His face was of pure, comical confusion. He grasped at his chest, wondering what that feeling was, of coldness, of pain. Then when he saw the girl - a gun smoking in her hands, he understood.

And collapsed.

Wait, what?! Where did this gun come from?

If you write an ending like this, you are bound to get a bunch of hate mails. In this passage, the gun came out of no where. There was no building up to it, and it seems as if the author just dropped the gun into the story, as if desperate to rescue the protagonist.

If the author wanted to make the gun a surprise, then he could have mentioned the sighting of a gun in a previous chapter, like a subtle foreshadowing for the audience.

Jane backed away, eyes streaming as if trying to frantically blur the mutilated image before her. Her foot knocked on something, and looking down she saw the black object shining in the moonlight.

It was a gun.

Ok, perhaps not as subtle as I wanted it to be.

The point is, don't pull a fast one on the readers. Create your story so that everything is taken account for, and that everything connects from beginning to end. If you start randomly throwing in things that do not make sense, your readers will hate you for it, and they will put the book down faster than Jane pulled that random trigger.

If you don't know whether or not you added an element that can be considered confusing, try leaving the work alone for a few days then coming back to it. Let your mind clear of any track of thought so you can read the chapters anew.

Still not sure? Have a friend read it.

Or run it by me. I'm always glad to help (to contact me, see my Contact Me page)

May your joy in writing lead you to happiness,

Jay

Boring Stories - Don't play it safe!

Stories are stories. It's writing in which you can do whatever you want, write about anything you want, and create anything you want. So for Heaven's sake, please stop playing it safe!

Sometimes, we're afraid to delve into the realms of irritationality, discomfort, and pain. It has been taught to us that all things from rape to murder are terrible, and should never be committed. Society tries to form us into these sentimental, passionate beings despite us being selfish and violent in nature.

When you write a story, drop it all. Drop what you've been taught, drop the rationality. Drop the bunnies, the rainbows, the good endings, the pretty girls, the cute guys. Drop it all. Let all societies flaws pour onto your page. Give your book a murder or rape scene. Give it some kind of Oomph; give it something that only the mature minded can understand.

The aim I'm trying to get at here is to get away from the Literary Safe Zone: A place where everything is happy, everything is equal, a utopian society that is most obviously inexistant. No reader, and I mean NO reader, will want to see a book with no problems. Why? Because it isn't a story! There's no plot and no theme and no lesson. All it is is a jumble of happy go lucky scenes that end happy go luckily. 

If you cant seem to leave the Literary Safe Zone, try this exercise:

The Puppy

Take out a piece of paper and get a pencil. Write "The Puppy" at the top.

Now visualize a puppy under a bridge. Think about a type, a color, perhaps a smell. Think about how the weather was that day (or night), why the puppy was there in the first place. 

Now write a story about the puppy, and how it got under the bridge. Write about why it wasn't with its owner, how he got that tiny scar on his back.

Create another paragraph, and write the absolute WORST thing you can do to this puppy. Something possible mind you. Create a scene in which the puppy dies in the absolute worst way. Make the story first person, as if you're the one committing the deed. Write something that you know you will never do in a million years. Be graphic if you want to, or scared, or on the verge of crying. 

When you're done, examine how you are. Is your heart beating rapidly? Do you feel dizzy? Do you have this inner feeling of guilt, that you actually killed the puppy? If you feel any of these things, then perfect. A writer and a reader think the same way, so odds are they will feel emotionally attached to the story.

Now if you must, add in a happy ending somewhere. Or just an ending. Perhaps the puppy doesn't actually die, and instead escapes limping and huffing through the pouring rain. Perhaps the killer decided to gouge his eyes out, and the dog ran into the middle of the street and got hit by a car. He survives - though barely, and it gets him away from the killer.

Or you don't have to have an ending. But it's all up to you.

I know most of you are probably thinking I'm a sick, twisted individual by the time you read these words. But you have to understand that your story NEEDS conflict, it NEEDS this sense of madness and immorality. Unless you write for the creators of Barney, your story needs to run on violence, on angst, on a type of emotional conflict. Why? Because it gives your story a sense of importance. Your readers will want to know if Pamela escapes the rapist who all of a sudden barges into her house.

And while you're writing, you'll cry, you'll sweat. You'll feel all these things that not even a movie can make you feel. But when you end it - with a scene when Pamela gets the frying pan and jams the end of it inside the dude's head - then you will feel like it was worth it.

And consequently, so will your readers.

May your joy in writing lead you to happiness (with a hint of emotional discomfort)

Jay

Don't Abuse the Thesaurus

When I'm reading unedited articles and stories written by my friends and my clients, I often find them abusing words just because they sounds right. Quite often, these little synonyms have different meanings, and can totally do a 180 to your story.

For example, I once read a story that had something similar to this:

" The monster came at me with sharp, drooling teeth. Its eyes, oh its mortifying eyes, frightened me to the deepest core of my being. "

The word I am examining is "mortifying".Mortifying describes something that brings about embarrassment and shame. So if you all of a sudden tripped and fell in the middle of the busy streets of New York, and have your face land on a pile of poo a dog coincidentally left for you, you will feel mortified. 

In the quote above, the context of the story with this word is incorrect. How can eyes filled with embarrassment and shame bring about such a frightening feeling? I think the writer was looking for a word along the lines of "terrifying" or "frightening" or even "scary". But mortifying is not correct.

The same can be said about a lot of stories I've read. Remember: Don't abuse the thesaurus! Have a professional check your work to make sure everything is right.

Or you can also email me. I am ALWAYS glad to help.

May your joy in writing lead you to happiness,

Jay

Got what it takes to get featured?

Today, I am implementing a new section of A Blogger's Quill titled "Featured Works". This page will display all the works submitted to me via email that I find show exceptional literary prowess. This can be a variety of things: poems, articles, stories, basically anything that can be written on paper. All Featured works will stay on the page permanently until I create a Hall of Fame page.

As to how I determine something that has "exceptional literary prowess"? My answer is limitless. It all depends on what I feel is a winner. Like I said, Writing is an art. There is no rubric for me to staple onto your canvas. Just write, and I'll reply to you.

Do you think you have what it takes to get onto our Featured Page? Try submitting you work to erekatssblogs@gmail.com.

I'll be looking forward to reading your great stories!

Jay

Repetitive Nouns & Verbs

I was requested to proofread a friend's college essay. I was reading through it and I found a certain mistake that I find common in a lot of literature. The mistake is the unneeded use of Synonyms.

For example:

"The girl had blue eyes and was exceptionally tall. She was feeling depressed and sad..."

In this example, the author uses "depressed" and "sad" to portray the girl's emotions. However, depressed and sad are basically the same thing. Having both of them holds no purpose other than to increase word count. Same can be said for verbs..

"He was exhausted from all his running and jogging.

The same situation applies here. Unless you are going into the specifics of running and jogging, they are the same thing, and you should get rid of one to stay efficient.

May your joy in writing lead you to happiness,

Jay

The "Universal" Key of Writing

I have been getting a few emails from people asking me to proofread their short stories and poems. Which is totally fine; I'm always glad to help. But I see a recurring theme in a lot of the emails sent to me. They want an answer to a question that is just so bizarre, it makes my eyes twitch in unbelief.

The question, you may ask?

"How do I write a good story?"

People tend to think that there is some hidden secret to writing a story, that there is some figurative handbook that if you follow the directions, you will create the next J.K Rowling novel. 

Right now, I'm going to end that belief. I have said this before, and I will say it again, writing is an art. Literature comes from your mind, your soul, your emotions, and your beliefs. The reason why authors are successful is not because they "can write good", or "they are smarter". It's simply because they have experienced more than others, they have practiced more than others, and they have the ability to open themselves up to others. Authors are masters of placing their thoughts into words, and the feeling that comes from their texts allows people to relate and admire them.

That among all else, is the reason why authors are successful.

Sure, you may need the fundamentals. That is understandable. But essentially, you are all asking me to write a book that fits all categories of great writing. That's almost as impossible as asking me to create another Frankenstein, except one that "is perfect", that everyone likes. Well, nothing like that exists.

The trick to writing is not finding the magical key that will open all the doors to the universe, but finding that one door that is right for you, and using your own key - the one you were born with - to unlock it.

May your joy in writing lead you to happiness,

Jay

Dealing with Writer's Block can be a pain!

Writer's Block is the evil of all dedicated authors. It keeps from getting that article done, finishing that page, and if you try to force through the block you will ultimately end up making the condition even worse.

What is Writer's Block? It is often described as one's sudden halt in writing, caused by not knowing how to continue their piece of writing. Writer's Block also describes one's inability to even start their project.

To cure Writer's Block, it is essential that you do not try to force the creativity. Get away from whatever you are doing and do something else. Watch television, read a book. Exercising essentially helps the brain think better, so running and jogging will help. For me, whenever I get Writer's Block I simply pop on a book and read.

If you're at a deadline, reading other works can help you come up with your own ideas. Be careful though: there is a fine line between plagiarism and adapting ideas. Copying a suicide scene and changing the names is one thing, but getting the idea that suicide would drive your story forward is another.

The bottom line is, get away from the work. Do something else. Let your brain rest and soon an idea will pop in your head.

Reading & Writing is important!

I've been getting a few emails from my online friends, and they always ask how can people "write so good". I reply with a simple question: "Do you read books?".

After a pause, they reply with a simple: "no."

For all you new and writers in training, it is important that I tell you how ESSENTIAL reading is to writing.

Reading and Writing is like the Ying and Yang of literature. One cannot exist without the other. If you have never written an essay before, you can't simply learn it, like you do with Math. Writing, like drawing, is an art that can only be done through observation and practice.

When we read, our active mind is continuously trying to make sense of the text. We notice words and connectors, and we pair them together in the way the author made it so we can understand what is happening. At the same time, your subconscious mind is learning how to write. We notice how authors use certain words and structures, how their words seem to coalesce together like an intricate woven rope, how the way they write seems so natural.

Every time your read, your mind will pick up these techniques. The more you read, the better your chances of literary success. So if you're a new writer, get your fundamentals down and pick up a book. Build up your foundation before you start that ladder.



May your joy in writing lead you to happiness,

Jay